Ted Slocum

Absurdity, gambling, mindfulness, programming, golf, well-being, and my opinions.

14 Nov 2021

Thoughts Entering Silence

With a three-week silent meditation retreat only days away, I am starting to realize it is actually going happen. Three weeks of silence is a lot of silence! Here are some of my thought entering:

  1. I can’t wait to disappear and meditate for three weeks. No 21st century productive routine. No signaling to anybody. No feeling rushed. No what do I need to get done today. Just paying close nonjudgemental attention to what is currently happening.
  2. I am fearful that my body will not be up to the task. This is a silly fear. If I can’t meditate sitting in a formal pose I will sit in a chair. If my body tenses up, the resulting sensations will be good objects of meditation.
  3. It is a bit scary knowing that I might have very different desires and perspectives only a few weeks from now. It is the feeling that I could realize that I have been living a drowsy and mindless life. What huge regret might stem from that realization. This is strange because, in part, the reason I signed up for this retreat was to have this point crystalized. Beyond strange, but scary nonetheless.
  4. It’s going to be cold!