Ted Slocum

Absurdity, gambling, mindfulness, programming, golf, well-being, and my opinions.

17 Oct 2021

Its Not My Fault

I have been struggling to lose weight for my 6 pack freeroll. I find myself thinking “it’s not my fault…” The reasons include: I had a wedding or my girlfriend want so eat pizza all the time.

The thing I can’t square with these excuses are that they don’t feel true when they are happening. When deciding to go get pizza with Mica, no part of me is caving to get the pizza because she suggested it. It doesn’t feel that way at all. Yet after the fact, I come up with that excuse. Strange. It brings to mind the book Strangers to Ourselves, where the author makes the analogy that our minds are often like white-house press-secretaries – coming up with reasons after the fact that in all likelihood don’t connect at all with the actual event. The purpose of the secretary is not conveying the truth or an accurate account of events, but rather to tell a story that bolsters the story of ourselves and our values.

This has me wondering… if a main pillar of my identity was an extreme form of personal responsibility (rather than a victim of circumstance (and my evil pizza-loving girlfriend)), would I come up with better stories after an error. Stories that would help me correct course faster and get to where I want to go. I think the answer is yes, right?